When the cock crows

I went to my Bible tonight to Luke 22 to read over what I thought was the story of the Jesus washing the disciples feet, but found the Lord had a different story for me...

In Luke 22 starting around verse 24, Jesus and the disciples have the Last Supper and Christ tells the disciples one of them will betray Him and that one is at the table; so, the disciples start striving about who will be greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven (I will jokingly say this is typical of the disciples, they turn inward). Christ speaks to them about who will be the first and the last and then addresses Peter in vs. 31 & 32, "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted (here this means when you have returned to me), strengthen thy brethren." Then in vs. 33, Peter, instead of heeding, makes a determination-which he may have thought he could keep-but we come to vs. 40 where they enter the Garden's entrance with Christ and He gives them an opportunity to prepare for this temptation: "...Pray that ye enter not into temptation."

We follow Christ into the Garden and we see that He DOES this-placing Himself in perfect subjection to the Father's will. What does the mighty Peter do?-Vs. 45: "And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow." So in vs. 46 Jesus commands once more, but it is too late. Peter now enters into the arrest and the leading away with no spiritual readiness, but completely relying on himself.

He follows Christ "afar off" after the arrest and now enters into the hall of temptation; Vs. 57-once he denies; Vs. 58-twice he denies; Vs. 60-the third denial. The end of vs. 60-62 reads, "...And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew. And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And Peter went out, and wept bitterly."

Wow-there are few words for this. As I read this I saw a parallel of myself; Peter relied on the rock of himself saying I-ME-I will not deny thee; he gave no place to the very Lord he promised to defend. God gave him several chances to prepare-to steady his mind for the events and days to come and when they came, he was not ready. I don't just need to be weeping bitterly over failure-I need to be asking the Lord for strength BEFORE the trial even begins. Every time I let myself meditate on Enemy thoughts, I am denying I know Him, and proving I'd rather associate with the Enemy. This all comes from the little I know about Him.

Christ did just the opposite; when He knelt to pray in the Garden, He was honest before the Lord; He subjected His will to His Father's and vs. 43 says, "And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, STRENGTHENING him." He was prepared to die before it came time to! He had gathered the strength to-and NOT from Himself!

The beautiful thing is Christ did not throw Peter away; Peter became a very powerful messenger of the Gospel after this and maybe it took Peter realizing who he was and who God IS for this repentance. Chapter 24, vs. 12 brings us to Mary Magdalene and the others telling the disciples of SEEING Christ and the empty tomb, and who was first to run? Vs. 12, "Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre..." That empty tomb made a change on Peter-once a denying, sleeping disciple-now a preaching martyr. It was the realization that God was who He said He was! The knowledge of God changed Peter's life-he was now TRULY devoted.

In my study Bible is a "character profile" of Peter, and it is beautiful- "Impulsive Peter certainly didn't at like a rock much of the time, but when Jesus chose His followers, He wasn't looking for models-He was looking for men. He chose people who could be changed by His love, and then He sent them out to communicate that His acceptance was available to anyone-even to those who often fail." Peter's key verse, Matthew 16:18 says, "Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."

God did a beautiful work in Peter, but maybe Peter had to realize what he was before God could use him as that rock-he had to first realize the Rock he had to stand upon. I read this story in tears thinking of my own denial of Christ; placing myself in Christ's view then in Peter's-sharing the moment they looked upon one another in realization of his sin, his hurt of his Master and Friend, and then the overwhelming thought was the very action of denial was the sin Christ was on His way to die for! We were made to live DEPENDENTLY on Him, not on our own reasoning or calming or security. The more we gain the knowledge of God, the more we see Him as He is meant to be seen, and the more we are overwhelmed to silence in view of the GREATNESS of who He is!

God has been trying to teach me this for a very long time and I have been drowning Him out with theories, with excuses, with reasonings, with rituals-ALL NOISE, and then adding to it daily my own voice shouting above all else "Be Quiet! Be Quiet! Be Quiet!" And God now shows me it's not me shouting to quiet, it's me stopping talking altogether so that I can hear His voice! We let this noise in and our hearts and souls come to the strain of not hearing God even if we WANTED to.

I was shopping for the summer yesturday and came on this cute little black dress that was light and nice looking and when I saw the tag, immediately I heard His voice saying "You don't need to buy that; you have plenty of clothes and you need to be a good steward of the money I give you." I picked it up and bought it anyway, justifying back and forth in my head as I picked out other things I truly needed that it was ok for me to buy the dress. I got to the cashier and she rung everything up and as she finished the purchase and I pulled out a track and (here's great Christ-like character for you) as I was asking her to read it, I heard once more, "Don't buy the dress" and in my head and in my heart I said to the Lord, "Be Quiet-I want it." She must have mistaken me for a zombie because I stared straight ahead all the way to the car thinking "I can't believe I just said that." So I got in the car, drove about 5 miles down the road, asking the Lord all the way if He didn't want me to get the dress (seriously?!), so I pulled over and finally reasoned in my guilty conscience, "If in doubt, don't". I turned around and drove back to the store, now asking the Lord "Are you SURE You don't want me to have it" and listing out every reason I could think of to turn back around and go home. I got to the store, returned the dress, gave another track to the second cashier, and walked back out to the car the whole time thinking, "Ok, Lord, I don't know why You had me do that but I am sorry I disobeyed and I will listen from now on." As I was talking to the Lord that night, He started revealing more and more to be about Himself and I realized as I was sitting there just basking in the knowledge of God that that incident wasn't about the dress at all-it was about me hearing the voice of God, and OBEYING.

I had become muddied, just as Peter did, ultimately with the cares of myself-with things that revolve around me and don't at all include the Lord in the picture and guess what, God didn't intend for life to run successfully WITHOUT Him in the picture! Until we abide in the knowledge of God, there is no hope, but WHEN we abide in the knowledge of God, there is an AMAZING amount of hope! I am seeing this proven true in my own life right now and I write as one who is weeping bitterly because of the constant denial of Christ in my life. Satan may desire to sift me, but Christ desires something greater, and it is when the cock crows that the Lord reveals to me who I really am, and what needs to change.

Christ seeks to quiet the noisy soul and make that change, but we have to allow Him to pluck up the cares of the world, and take root Himself.