Well, this is my first post since being back at the Academy of Arts this spring semester! If you all don't know about the Academy of Arts, I will post more about what the ministry is tomorrow...you won't want to miss that? ;)
The devil has really been trying to get at me with a lot of things over the course of my lifetime, but closer to home these days he has been using fear. I have just recently started struggling with panic attacks-reactions to either fear or stress that leave me sick and about ready to pass out. My family has struggled with them on and off and I didn't even know until now that that is what was going on. I went home over Thanksgiving and realized that this was more than just a need for medication, it was a lack of trust in my Heavenly Father. I prayed then that He would help bring it out of me and closer to Himself. I've been asking the Lord to help me, but I want to look up what the Bible says about fear. I think the devil specifically likes to attack me in this area because he knows the ministry the Lord has put me in is with youth specifically. As I look back, all the times I have struggled this year with these panic attacks were time I had specifically been given or designated to spend with young people involved in our ministry OR times I have had to share the truths of God's Word with them. When I thought on this, it made me more angry than anything! I am choosing to give in to these attacks from the devil and he is winning areas of my ministry because of them! So where do I go? To the Lord-He was tempted in all points just as we are yet WITHOUT sin...so what does Christ say about fear?
Exodus 4:1 gives an example of panic, "And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice; for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee." He was making a scenario before it even happened. The footnote says, "Moses' fear was caused by worrying about how the people might resond to him. We often panic over what might go wrong. God does not ask us to go where He has no provided the means to help. Trust Him to supply resources and courage at the right moment." I think here Moses gave what I give so many times. We give the excuses when God has already provided a way through, and He's only asking that we trust Him. Trusting Him thought is not a "success only" card..in Moses' case he came to Pharoah SEVERAL times before he would consent to let the people go! God doesn't promise only happiness and roses...He promises He will never leave nor forsake...and He WILL get us through!
Then there''s Daniel 2:16-18 that contrasts Daniel and his friends stopping to go before the Lord and seek wisdom. The context here was Daniel being asked to interpret the dream of the king that none of his other "wise men" could interpret. This could have been a panic situation for Daniel, but what does he do? He stops, gathers accountability, and GOES BEFORE THE LORD! Part of the footnote says, "Prayer is more effective than panic. Panic confirms your hopelessness; prayer confirms your hope in God." When I was in a situation recently where I felt a panic attack coming on, the people I was surrounded with were praying and as soon as the leader opened his mouth to pray, I felt a calming come over me- I tell myself alot that asking God for help won't really help those panic attacks, but it does if I'd let it. This past summer, I started having alot of stomach pains and cramps and several doctors that I had been to thought I might be having trouble with my gallbladder. I realized in the Fall that I had actually been housing a stomach ulcer. Before I knew what it was, I only knew there was pain, so I tried everything under the sun MYSELF to take it away. I was desperate, but I could not cure, no matter WHAT I did. I finally went to the doctor and he diagnosed me right away just by HEARING my symptoms and gave me a medication that practically cured me overnight. He was experienced, he was learned, and he had a solution to my problem when I came to Him. Why is it that we "self-treat" so often when we have the Master Physician at a knee's bow? He has exactly what we need...and is only waiting for us to come!
I remember hearing the fact that God tells us not to fear 365 times in the Bible-one for each day of the year! If God confirms it, I know He can help me conquer it. I refuse to live in fear when God has promised to help me! Hebrews 13:5b-6 says, "...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." Fear is going to hold me back unless I choose to believe the Lord and trust Him.
I want to find all those fear references and write the reference in every day of my calendar. Memorization is a start! If i know His Word, I can use it as a mighty Sword and continue on in ministry for the Lord! I don't just want to take that knowledge at bay..I want to know myself all of these references...everyday of the year! He hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Keep that always on my heart, Lord! May I go forth not in panic, but in peace!
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